you know when you are young, and you see something scary, or are on a roller coaster, and about to drop, and you squeeze your eyes shut really tightly? as if just simply closing them isn’t enough? is it the severity of the squeezing them shut that helps us know how scared we are?
As i am sitting here, trying to see the difference between just closing them, or tightly squeezing them…. until my face is all squishy… and there isn’t much difference to my eyes. I still can’t see.
regardless of the difference, i still feel like the more scared you are, the tighter you close your eyes… and maybe even cover the closed, seeing nothing eyes, with your hands– to ensure that you really won’t see anything.
I feel like that is me.
I just climbed into the seat of a rollercoaster called “risk” and “new beginnings”, and i am like a frightened kid, squeezing my eyes shut, hand over my eyes, with knots in my stomach… and the rollercoaster hasn’t even started yet. But I can’t wait for it. the rush of wind, the climing and dipping, the screams and laughter, sharp turns, and the chance to say that I have ridden it.
but my eyes are still shut. really tight…
i’ll open them soon enough. it just takes time,
